LoveStruck: The Basics of Love and Marriage

LoveStruck

The Basics of Love and Marriage

Speaker: Marty Ocaya (with Atid Ocaya)

written by Ashley Petallano

Ever love story is different. 

Some love stories begin with two kids, living side by side and growing up together, eventually realizing they're meant for other.

Others involve two lost souls finding each other in a vast ocean of people.

And there's the typical boy meets girl and the rest is history. 

SIGGGH

Falling in love is a beautiful thing. Most of us want to see ourselves dressed in white or looking good in a dark suit, waiting for our future hubby or wifey for our sweet forever.

Unfortunately, most of us have a wrong view of relationships. Young people of today do not prioritize the basics of romance and love. They think overwhelming feelings is the definition of love. This mindset causes them to suffer the hurt from heartbreak,

It's not always about feelings, guys and girls. The saying: "The heart knows where it goes" is deceiving because let's face it: the heart can sometimes be easily fooled by too much feels. And too much feels is not good for any of us.

#TooMuchFeels

In order to avoid becoming victims of heartbreak, we should know the basics of relationship according, not to the world or romance movies, but to the Bible, God's handy manual for His followers. 

Here's God's Path to relationships and marriage:

Path 1 - Romantic Relationships are ALWAYS With the Opposite Sex

Romance is meant for men and women, not men and men or women and women. It's for two individuals of the opposite sex to share. It's in the Bible:

18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[g] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Genesis 2:18, 21-22

You may not agree but it's clear: God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. God creates a woman to be the man's helper and no one else. 

Feelings should never dictate who you are. Emotions can be easily deceived and if you allow yourself to dwell in them, you will also be fooled. It's like telling yourself that you're Superman to the point you almost believe it. But no matter what you do, you will never be Superman. Why? Cause it's the truth.

Path 2 - Premarital Sex or any Hint of It Should be Avoided

3 But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.

Ephesians 5:3

The movies that we watch and the music we listen to tell us that if you love someone, you just gotta shed the clothes off and just do it. After all, what's the harm in showing affection by taking it into the next level? There's nothing wrong with it , right?

RIGHT?

The honest truth is SEX IS BEAUTIFUL.

Yes, you read right. 

It's a beautiful thing...if it's used in the aspect of marriage.

Saying that it's just sex is not enough to give you the reason to do it outside of marriage. When you give in, you're giving in the one special gift for your spouse to someone else. 

God wants us to savor the gift of sex with our spouses. If we believe that God wants only the best for us, then we should trust Him on this one. If you think about it, giving it up to someone else once or multiple times scars the sanctity of sex for marriage.

It becomes worthless, meaningless. When we engage in sex outside of marriage, we destroy it's beauty because we are selfish people. God will give it to us when we're ready, when we're happy in the presence of our future spouse.

Path 3 - Romantic Relationships Always INVOLVE Authority

Yes, kids, we're talking about parents or anyone guiding us right now.

You say: "BUT WHYYYYYY? Mom and Dad don't understand! They don't want us to be happy!"

God placed authorities in our lives because we need guidance. We think that we know everything when in reality, we actually don't. It just feels that way. But God gave us our parents and guardians so they can oversee us and make sure we don't do anything that will hurt us.

In the Bible, parental authority was all over the relationships. Abraham was the authority over Isaac and Rebekah's relationship and look how that turned out. Naomi guided Ruth and Boaz and they ended up having a loving marriage.

6 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

Ephesians 6:1

God wants us to listen to our parents, not just with regards our relationships but with everything. As long as what our parents are saying are in line with God, we should do it. When it comes to love and romance, we should involve our parents because they know what it's like. It sounds old-fashioned but they know what is right for us.

Ask their advice and thoughts on your relationships. Consider what they say and what God says because let's face it: they will always be right.

Path 4 - Being Responsible is Non-Negotiable

Marriage is not just about the love and happily ever afters. It's much more than that.

Before Adam was given Eve, God made sure he was ready for the responsibility. If you want to get ready for the happily ever after, you should prepare for it. You don't just jump in and do it. Marriage is too precious for you to jump in unprepared. 

Romantic relationships is never about the romance alone. Many marriages end badly because both parties depended heavily on emotions. When all the feelings went away, so did the commitment to forever. Relationships are a combination of romance and responsibility.

Path 5 - Romantic Relationships are COMMITMENTS

23 The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’
    for she was taken out of man.”

Genesis 2:23

Adam and Eve were joined for life. Not for five minutes, not only for five years--they were joined for life.

Unfortunately, most couples break up and take their vows for granted. They end it because they're unhappy and there's no point in continuing a doomed relationship. Instances like these prove the importance of thinking everything through before committing to it. 

Again, feelings are unreliable when it comes to making decisions. Remember: they eventually go away. Couples who value God's sanctity for marriage know that they're entering into a lifelong commitment that requires them to love one another even when they don't feel like it. When you're committed to something, you stick with it no matter what.

When you get married, you promise to everyone and God that you will be with the other person no matter what happens. You know how the vow goes: in sickness or in health, in richness or poorness, till death do us part.

Marriage and relationships are not just about the fuzzy feelings, friends. It's not something we should take lightly or immediately dive into, It's important to consider God and our families into the equation. Yes, the 'you and me against the world' thing sounds so romantic but it doesn't last. Relationships sanctified by God will.

If you're single right now, enjoy it! :D Nothing's better than serving God wholeheartedly with everything you've got while you wait.